Things to do when not getting spanked

I am spoiled rotten -- not because of trinkets or baubles or shoes or the antics I get away with. I am spoiled because I have the delicious luxury of being spanked often. However. These past two weeks have frustrated me as I have found myself among the palest of the pale. That's right: no spanking for two whole weeks. See? Spoiled. (I detect your eyerolls.)

Aside from pouting (at which I am colossally poor), how have I occupied my time? What do I do when I'm busy being unspanked?

1. Think about spanking. And then try to stop thinking about spanking, which leads to even more thinking because why should I not think about spanking? Right?

2. Get some fresh air. Whilst in the fresh air, remember your last outdoor spanking. Scope out a handy hide-away for your next adventure.

3. Watch a movie that has absolutely nothing do with spanking. Rewrite a scene in your head to include a surprise session. My favorite? Well, I'm a girl, so in "Dirty Dancing" I like to throw in some spanking scenes between Johnny Castle and Baby while he's teaching her to dance. THAT'S how she really learned her dance routine. Oh, and by the way, somebody does put Baby in the corner.

4. Amass photographs. My collection of spank-related artwork and pictures greatly increases in dry seasons. I like to play the "Google Image" game: type in a silly phrase like "spank cake" and see all the crazy things that pop up. Dibs on the groom-spanking-the-bride cake topper.

5. Talk about spanking. Let your friends walk you through these hard times.

6. Stop thinking about it! Sheesh. It'll happen again. Your bottom is bound to find its way over another lap prior to 2011. Most likely.

7. Wine. And then imagine an implement-tasting tour instead of a wine-tasting. My favorite vintage is definitely "Leather house", circa 2009. Ah, I love the full-bodied aroma. (Does this make me weird? I suspect.)

8. Sleep. Tell yourself that you won't dream of spanking and you surely will. It's inevitable.

9. Shop. This activity really needs no explanation. But my wish list for sexy items has now grown to include the Cane-iac Spanking Buddy, a gorgeous new custom corset, and a pair of shoes, just because.

10. You know what I'm going to say here. I have a reputation for vibrating toys. Employ them. Now.

Yes, there are other things to do, like: eating, working, reading a book, community service, exercising, socializing, cleaning the house, and generally becoming a better person. But really those are just minor details on the road to Spankville.

My train to that mystical village is leaving in about 4 hours. It's good to be spoiled yet again. I think -- ask me again tomorrow.