Spanking inside the lines?

"Just draw an outline of your swimsuit on your bottom, and I won't spank outside the lines."

This was my boyfriend's not-so-helpful suggestion. I was kind of looking for something like, "I won't bruise you the day before you go swimming," or, "I'll avoid your thighs altogether." But no. His idea of keeping onlookers' attention away from my spanked area was to draw MORE attention to it with magic marker. Here is the bulls-eye, folks, in case you didn't know.

So, I'm relegated to swimsuit cover-ups in the form of short-shorts and skirts. Either that or an endless stream of excuses as to why my bottom looks like it met with an unfortunate ice accident in July.

And judging from what I've seen so far on the beach and poolside, I'd say that there may be many lucky ladies out there with the same dilemma. Women with absolutely no reason to cover-up are taking to the beaches in shorts and half-skirts. Spanked or modest? I wonder how many of us are wandering around hiding pink cheeks and fresh belt lines, hoping nobody is behind us when we bend over, exposing our upper thighs and sit spots.

There are several things I'll be on the look-out for this summer: covered bottoms on the beach, "sunburnt" cheeks, and conspicuous marker lines.

I may be sporting all of the above.