September 20, 2010

Memo from my bottom

Subj: Scheduling Conflicts with Hand and Cane

Dear Pink,

Due to an unfortunate lack of planning, this bottom was somehow double-booked on Sunday. I had hoped for a nice brunch with the Hand, but since it was not set out clearly on the schedule (ahem), there arrived two implements to greet me instead.

Yes, the Hand was present for this informal gathering; thank you kindly for inviting him. But in short order, there arrived the Cane, hoping to feast on the remaining bounty of Sunday brunch.

Being the gracious hostess that I am, I greeted the Cane with a smile and a polite hand shake (a true sign of sophistication in times that could otherwise be uncomfortable) but quickly regretted my decision to include him as the relaxed conversation grew somewhat terse.

The Cane and the Hand have little in common, you see, and maintaining the conversation between them is fraught with peril, even for a well-versed and engaging bottom such as I.

With regard to your earlier verdict that Sundays shall be kept for "spontaneous pursuits", this bottom wholeheartedly objects. In order to avoid future double-booking, and the inevitable discomfort that follows, I respectfully request that all plans be penciled in on my calendar for approval.

Please contact me if you have any questions about this matter. I can be found in the usual place.


Your bottom


  1. Learning your lesson in shceduling, I see.
    Somethings always have to come to us the hard way.
    Cute post,

  2. I am reasonably certain that your bottom appreciated the variety of taste, similar to having two different desserts, and the afterglow was even fonder. Loved the post :-)

  3. BT: Yes, flexibility is often over-rated! Thanks!

    Red: My bottom is coy. She pretends not to enjoy the full variety offered. I'll let you in on a secret: she does enjoy it! :)

    Thank you!

  4. So cute.

    Excuse me for saying but I think your bottom is a bit of a smart-ass.

    The Pleasure Principle

  5. Haha, is an ill-kept secret that my bottom is a smart ass.

    She, of course, objects to this classification. But I always tell her that it's better than being a dumb ass.


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