Because you say so

We both know that I will do it.

Last Friday, when you ordered me to fetch that wooden paddle from your bedroom, telling me to keep my skirt up and my panties where they were, rolled under my cheeks in such a way that made me want to reach back and hide my burning shame, in my mind I hesitated. But that hesitation didn't last long, because you said so and it must be done.



When you ordered me to the corner my resistance was gone, weathered away by the storm of your palm and paddle thundering against my cheeks, your words making me feel small and quiet but not insignificant. Never insignificant. I feel like the center of your world when you hold me. When you look at me, I know you are seeing all of the parts, flaws and all, and you cherish them. You even kiss the ugly parts of me.

And when you made me bend in front of you while you were seated, I knew you were seeing everything -- turning me into a house without walls, opening me in such a way that hiding was impossible -- and it scared me for a moment. But I did it because you said so.



This is unusual for me. I am the girl who needs to know why. I am the woman who makes up her own mind. But because you say so, I do not question you. I know that you will keep me safe, battling my own fears right alongside me, demanding that with you there is always truth. With you, in humility there is dignity.

I love it when you say so.

I need you to say so.

I am yours because I say so.