June 12, 2010

Waxing bun-tastic on my soapbox

You have no idea how hard it is for me to resist quoting Sir Mix-a-Lot. Visions of mall hair, jelly bracelets and booty-shaking in the school hallway, 1992, are making me dizzy with lust for sophomore year.

So, let's go a different route, since I'm feeling musical today:

Oh won't you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside your red firelight,
Oh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Yeah. Queen is infinitely better.

I visit a lot of spanking sites and see hundreds of spanking pictures, videos, and blogs that focus on the often waifish figures of spanking models . I know that everyone has their particular tastes, and that thin is always in, but where's the booty jiggle and the thigh quake on a size 2 woman? (No offense to ultra-thin women everywhere -- you're still the media darlings.)

I want to see some movement, some waves, some wobble with the spanking. I want to see a bottom dance a jig when it's spanked. C'mon now: "hop, hop, back!"

I'm a big fan of loving the skin you're in, whether you're 80 pounds or 200. Work what you got -- be healthy and vibrant.

And, oh god, here it comes, evidence of my legendary self-restraint: Shake it! Shake it! Shake that healthy butt!

Join me in my big-haired, happy nostalgia:


  1. I love big butts. I'm an ass man and have always loved all shapes and sizes, but I have an affinity for larger ones. I like the roll, bounce, jiggle, wiggle, wobble, ripple. Yes.

  2. I also like a little cushion on my spanking target. Cookie constantly complains that I've fed her too much. :P

    Sir Mix-a-lot must have been a spanko, too. Notice that there's a whip sound when the girls smack their own backsides? Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?

    Though, in all fairness, here's something for all of the flat-bottomed lovers out there....


    Sad thing is that these commercials are aimed more at children (thus, the Spongebob references) than the adults who would recognize the original song. It's.... kinda disturbing...

  3. I just danced to that song a couple of days ago! Nice post.

  4. Pink ,big botties more to spank ,love and spanks ,tim xx

  5. Every once in awhile you can catch me dancing in the kitchen to this song...worse are the times the lyrics get stuck in my head and I burst out with, "I like big butts & I cannot lie!"

    Thanks for that link, Thomas.

    I, too, am an admirer of all bottoms. I had just been surfing some blogs and looking at videos and was tired of seeing teeny-tiny, itty bitty things. Thicker butts need some spanking, too!

  6. Oh my I love that photo. Juicy buns, heart shaped buns, oh and those red pants; she's more than doing them justice.


    Uh...thin is rarely-in especially when it comes to spanking. You need to have an ass. You can be in shape, not over-weight and even slim and still have an ass.

    Fyi...flat is not where-it's-at :D

  7. The same night that you were dancing to that song, I was playing it for my friends and they were enjoying the chance to show off their bumtastic bums. I thought of you, of course.


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