May 3, 2010

Having my cake (and eating it, too)!

In case you haven't realized, I am a submissive. I lose myself in the moments of surrender, temporarily deeming those moments the only ones of consequence. I kneel. I oblige. I service. I defer to someone who I trust will take my power and use it wisely.

In a Sociology class I suppressed a chuckle when the professor asked, "What's your master status?" In my mind it was translated to "MASTER status", and was recorded as such in my notebook. But what she was referring to was a person's main identity: their core, the most important "label" that takes precedent over all other roles that are required of us.

"Submissive" is not my master status, I must confess. But it's one among many roles that I play in my day-to-day. I'm also an independent woman, a powerful ally or adversary, a sister, a daughter, a student, a citizen. Strongly opinionated with equally strong convictions, I can be demanding and unforgiving, although I battle the latter. All of these other traits and responsibilities do not diminish my submission, but rather translate to more power being relinquished in those exhilarating moments of surrender.

This is not unique to me.

In the online world and in the real-time scene worlds we can all appear to be one-dimensional. Emphasizing the sensual or sexual side of ourselves, we often do not reveal our other faces to the masses. I know I save myself for someone who is special enough to see ALL of me, rather than just the submissive side.

As I go deeper in discovery with that chosen person, my Dom, my safe confidante, I expect that he will also reveal the many dimensions of his personhood.

Does it make him less of a Dom that he shows tenderness, fear, frustrations, and worries about the mundane? Do his roles as employee, brother, uncle, lover diminish his "Domhood"? As vulnerabilities are revealed and emotions are expressed, do I deem him less of a leader?

No. You see, I want my cake. And I want to eat it. And then I want the cake again.

I want the leader, the lover, the tenderness, the firmness. I want to be disciplined, lectured, scolded, and then bathed and cherished and fed ice cream while watching a romantic comedy. I want trips to the grocery store and afternoon bondage. I want lawn mowing and sink cleaning punctuated by the slap of the strap.

I want the person, the whole person. I want to see all of the roles, all of the intricacies and complications that define him. I don't want one-dimensional, I want life in 3D.

I'm greedy. I want my cake and I want to eat it, too.

And once the cake is devoured, our platter is instantly replenished. It's magic. You see, the tender Dom and the strong submissive, together, make a wonderful cake.


  1. Marie-Antoinette was a spoiled cake loving submissive who lost her head for not giving any.

  2. And the steel-hearted brute is alive and well!

  3. A good Dom has all facets for sure. One dimension doesn't last long


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