
I'd already been forgiven before you started scolding me. My tears had already fallen before you warmed me over your knees.
Now you were giving me something to remember: I am yours. I gave you the right to protect me and, in doing so, you bear a great responsibility toward me, toward us. I can't just say the words -- I must let you protect me. But I didn't. I am so accustomed to protecting myself that I disregarded your warnings and your direct order. I was wrong.
This is the other side of spanking. This is the side I do not enjoy. I do not like being held accountable, but I expect you to. I do not enjoy crying because I disappointed you and undermined what we'd built together.
I do not like what you are about to do, but I know that it is necessary.
You were not angry; your words were soft. You placed a pillow on the end of the bed to raise and protect my hips and motioned to me. Fidgeting and ashamed at my complete nakedness, I crossed the room and took the expected position: my hands near the restraints, waiting; my hips pressed against the cushioned foot board, lifting my warmed bottom.

It began and ended as a blur I'd rather forget. I don't want to remember my tearful pleas, or the way I pulled against the restraints trying to escape the paddle, and, later, the crop. I don't want to remember my howls and repeated apologies, my tears falling on the bedsheets.
But I remember. And I remember the moments of us together afterward, your tenderness, the way you held me and kissed away my lingering guilt.
I remember. I remember that I am yours.
(First photo of Caroline Lannon courtesy of Firm hand spanking.)
Powerful prose, Pink! The part that struck me the most was the line "Fidgeting and ashamed at my complete nakedness". I would think anyone whose been in this type of situation (from either perspective) understands that image and feeling.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully exciting.
ReplyDelete"It began and ended as a blur I'd rather forget. I don't want to remember my tearful pleas, or the way I pulled against the restraints trying to escape the paddle, and, later, the crop. I don't want to remember my howls and repeated apologies, my tears falling on the bedsheets."
Very exciting stated this way.
Thank you.
Dioneo: Thank you! And, yes, I think nudity, especially for punishment, is the universal language of trepidation.
ReplyDeleteBT: Thank you! It is all very exciting in memory, isn't it?
Wonderful. I liked "That soon I would willingly place my hands in the velcroed enclosures and offer you my bottom as penance."
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
Ooh, reading this made me feel all tingly. :)
ReplyDeleteRonnie: Thanks! That's the hardest part, I think...walking over to "assume the position" when you know what follows will not be entirely fun (or not at all, as in this case).
ReplyDeleteHeather B: Thanks, Heather! (Good to see you here again!) Writing about it made me all tingly, too. :)
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hedone!
ReplyDelete