December 11, 2010

The Bluff

I need a dumber Dom.
The thing is, dear readers, that I am very often right. And when someone is very often right, that someone may just continue thinking that she is always right. And I am always right. Well, usually. Ok, sometimes.
There are instances when I can see things turning against me, however, and instead of immediate concession, I blaze on in my wrongness and employ the useful technique that I learned in sales: The Bluff.  The Bluff is most effective when coupled with made up statistics, quotes and obscure historical references that are hard to verify.
And, no, contrary to some people's belief, a bluff is NOT inherently bad in nature. It is not. Back in 1862, when Prince Kung saved the Manchu dynasty, he told a bluff to the European Invaders that successfully negotiated the safety of the Imperial Throne. (Damn, I'm good.)
Unfortunately for me, The Bluff has recently coincided with every salesperson's arch nemesis: The Blush.

No matter how authoritative and confident I make my voice (trust me, it's a particular talent of mine), when I feel the heat infuse my face, I know that the argument has been lost and soon I will be shamed into admitting that I'm probably not right.
Admitting error is a physically painful endeavor for me, made more so by having a man in my life who, whenever he wishes, takes me over his knee and proceeds to forcefully make his point upon my posterior.

Yes, I need a dumber Dom.  I need someone who will be awed by my intelligence, rendered speechless by my grasp of history and statistics, a man who will unquestioningly believe any sort of bluffed fluff I set before him.
As it stands now, when The Bluff leads to The Blush, I end up blushing on both ends.  This will be the case tomorrow, when I pay for a bluff-gone-wrong.
Katharine Lee Bates, best known for writing the lyrics of "America The Beautiful" and less known for her poetry and creative writing, once stated, "A creatively told story should be rewarded as fact."
So there. History is, indeed, on my side.

Edit to add: a few people have asked if Katharine Lee Bates was really quoted as saying that. And to that I answer, "She COULD have." *Blush
Second edit: Be sure to check out Season's brilliant companion piece over at Blossom and Thorn. D, you should most definitely not read it.

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